i think i finally figured out their purpose. i never liked “fag hag”. it made them seem so old with no purpose BUT packing double lady brains of how a man’s mind really spins and comes up always tails. i’ve seen those fruit flies. they are a bit younger than fag hags and hip and more married and there is a red head in the group now with freckles. ANYWAY.
the gay guy surveys the room and finds the straight cute guy sitting somewhere with his friends having some midori sours. we will call the straight guy steve and the gay guy gay guy.
steve and gay guy make eyes. steve looks down so fast his eyes turn to lasers and light the table on fire. gay guy huddles up w/ his fruit flies and draws out the play on… i can’t think of any names right now. so he sends over the hottest fly in his swarm to try and get stuck to steve’s trap. it works. gay guy has sparked steve’s boner. he thinks he is getting laid by what’s her name.
then gay guy buys drinks for steve through what’s her name until steve can’t see straight. (kitty) literally. fist comes to shove and steve is now gay and no one paid his tab.
[insert pic of gay guy chalking another one up on his board. it would probably be funny.]









